Digging through old emails recently, I unearthed a little back-and-forth Tyler and I had. I had been trying to explain why I liked Buffy, and he in turn was put in the unenviable position of defending his own love of bottom-of-the-barrel reality shows (or his 'stories,' as he likes to call them). Back in the adorably naieve days of Spring 2003, I thought we had hit the true bottom with gems such as 'Mr. Personality.' I was so, so, wrong.

5/22/03
9:15 AM
re: shove it, fools

okay, margaret, I watched part of the finale on tuesday...like the end where the entire town is swallowed up...it was the cheesiest piece of television filth I have ever seen, and yes I am addicted to the crappiest ass shows on television... but Buffy really sinks to new lows. Literally. I don't care about the Demon-fighting symbolism or mythos of the stories... They are boring and they have horrible, cheap graphics.

Lovingly,
Ty

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5/22/03
9:45 AM
re: shove it, fools

dude. Did I not tell you NOT to watch the current season because it would make you hate it? Actually, I might have just said that to Jess. You cannot judge the show based on the current season. I have told you before that it was assy this year.

You can't POSSIBLY tell me that seeing Sunnydale sink into the earth was cheesier than seeing that vapid Haley or whatever her name is stand in a room full of half-mannequins, looking back and forth between the one wearing a silver mask and one wearing a green, tearfully trying to decide WHICH MAN WHO'S FACE SHE'D NEVER SEEN to MARRY.
Whatever, pot. You're black.

kettley,
mandy

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5/22/03
10:50 AM
re: in defense of reality . . .

In defense of my addiction to reality tv...

I can't explain it. I can't justify it. I just can't stop watching. And I assume that you would give a similar defense to your Buffy habit (which I think is as disgusting and unhealthful as smoking crack while running a naked marathon).

At least with reality tv (or "my stories") there is some element of satire and poking fun at one's own ridiculousness. Buffy just takes herself so seriously, hideously bulbous nose and all. I just can't take that. I know that you will counter with 'numerous' examples of them making light of their own plotlines, but I DON'T GIVE A FLYING DUTCHMAN.

I think the simple fact that watching an entire episode would require staring at SM Gellar for 40 minutes makes me barf up a little in my mouth.

My only consolation in this argument is the fact that Buffy has been canceled, but 'my stories' have all been renewed for next season. Thhbfft!

Young...Beautiful...Constipated,
Tyler

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5/22/03
1:19 PM
re: challonge

Dear Mr. Cornholio:
So you can't stand to look at Sarah Michelle Gellar (which, by the way, I'm
not sure I understand why you think she's so repulsive), but you can stand to watch 20 grown men parading around in spandex hoodies and rubber masks? You can stand to watch grown women fall all over themselves to be chosen by a miniature wine/tire heir?

Sir, your tastes are incomprehensible to me. I'm willing to admit that your "stories" have some entertainment value, much in the way that a midget in a chimney sweep costume dancing with a howler monkey has entertainment value. It's absurd, and so it is funny. But it does not mean that watching that midget/monkey couple for an hour every week, and then for a two hour finale, and then another hour reunion in which the midget and monkey rehash their relationship, is time well-spent. ("Midgkeys": This season on Fox.)

Sure, Buffy has bad special effects. Since when is that more important than anything else? I'll take good dialogue and character development over visuals anyday. Star Wars Episodes 1 and 2 are fine examples of what happens when you focus on looking cool and forget the importance of writing. Is that what you want? Just good looks? I know you're not that shallow. I KNOW it in my SOUL.

Like I said, the show's been lacking for a good two years now. But in its prime, its first three years, it was one of the best-written shows on television. And it was extremely successful at setting up characters that people cared about and identified with, something that most shows struggle to do. It was inventive and unique. It was funny and scary. And even though I have only been watching it for a year, I am going to miss it.

When I move out there, I hope you'll sit down with me, have a beer, maybe some pizza, and watch one or two episodes of my choosing. And if you still have the hate, then feel free to snark away. But I still maintain that you have not seen enough of the show at its best to pass judgement.

Finally, Buffy was NOT cancelled. The people involved in the show decided that seven years was enough. And maybe your stories were renewed for next year, but let me be the first to say that I'm pretty sure Jesus will come back before we see "Mr. Personality Seven".

Regards,
meemaw

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5/22/03
1:52 PM
re: challonge

Mandy. You (once again) are correct. I have horribly misjudged Buffy and all things Buff-related. I darted home during lunch, rented the Season 1 dvds, and...

I'm totally blown away.

Seriously. The intricate plotlines, the rich, colorful characters. I can't believe that I've never seen an entire episode until now. I can't figure out why I previously thought that the show was too boring and self-involved to ever spend more than 5 minutes watching it.

And Sarah Michelle Gellar...she is absolutely breathtaking. The pauses and inflections that she sprinkles over the incredible dialogue gives Buffy such a wondrously mature sensibility. Her nose is far from horrendous...it's mesmerizing! I couldn't take my eyes off of it! And I ask myself...why doesn't she have a bigger movie career? This girl's got the goods! She's definitely got some chops. I can't wait to see her strut her stuff some more on the big screen. I'll be the first in line for Scooby-Doo 2, that's for sure

One thing that has also been brought to my attention is the faultiness of my prior misconception that the storylines are repetitive. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Kill some more demons, buffy! It never gets tiresome!

Respectfully,
Tyler

Sadly, my reply was not saved. But I imagine it was something along the lines of, "You're a jackass."
-- m