Well, it seems I can't be bothered to write a realy entry, so instead, enjoy a little email exchange that Tyler and I recently had. It begs the question yet again, how come we aren't millionaires by now?

Ty: WHOA: http://savemanny.blogspot.com/2005/10/does-halle-berry-have-six-toes.html

Mandy: heh. I saw that already. awesome.

Ty: I mean, I'm speechless. What else could that be, besides a 6th toe?

Mandy: all I have to say is, if she doesn't have six toes, this has to be the most hilarious rumor ever started about her. And if she does have six little piggies, well, that's just awesome. I wish all super pretty people had six toes, just to keep them grounded . . .

Ty: Ha. Keeping her grounded. Nice one. I hope it's true, b/c then she's really a freak of nature...gorgeous and many-toed. I be she's super agile and sure-footed.

Mandy: "You can't knock her over . . . they call her The Wall."
Wouldn't it be awesome if all beautiful people had six toes, and the only way their kids wouldn't have six toes would be if they married an average or ugly person. I'm going to write that into a screenplay right now. It's going to be called "Surefooted."
/p>

Ty:Do you think she has six toes on her other foot? B/c wouldn't it be even weirder if she had one normal foot and one Sure-foot(TM)?

Mandy: my guess is . . . only six toes on the one foot. I think six toes on both is like, crazy improbable.

Now I'm going to write a movie, a really excellent movie about the world in the year 2075, where genetic perfection is held as the goal of humankind, and there's a bunch of rebels running around with six toes or three nipples. And the Future Police will make rebel suspects take off their shoes to see if they are a rebel. It's going to be such an amazing script that it will definitely get made, and I will insist that Halle Berry audition for the leader of the rebels . . . "I wrote this part for you," I'll say, and then the scene she auditions with will be the one where the Future Police make her take off her shoes, and if she DOES have six toes I'll say, "Oh, my GOD, you are a FREAK, get the hell out of here. Oh, someone get me a bucket, I think I'm going to be sick." And if she doesn't, I'll be like, "Cool, great instincts in that scene, we'll just put that extra toe in with CG in post."

i'm so bored today.

Ty: HA. Please, PLEASE write that script. It would be like Aeon Flux meets North Country. I bet Charlize has 6 or 7 toes too.

So, check it out. ABC is looking for a show that would be budgeted at around $500k a week (meaning super low budget) for Saturday nights. Any old (cheap) show would do, but it sounds like they are willing to gamble on something, anything. Your assignment? Write a treatment for a half hour sitcom (or 60 min. crime procedural, whatever). Your time starts...now.

Mandy: OK. Easy-peasy.
Sitcom: An overweight, average-looking woman who complains a lot is married to a good-looking guy who plays pro basketball. They live in an upscale duplex in Sacramento, the other half of which is occupied by the woman's obnoxious parents, who are always dropping by and causing trouble, especially for the husband because they hate him. The couple has a lot of misunderstandings and the wife is always lying her way out of problems, but the husband always finds her out and they make up in the end. It's called "The Queen of the King," because the husband plays for the Kings, and she's totally the boss of him!

Crime show: A college-aged girl is the daughter of a brilliant inventor and a brain surgeon. Her parents lost all their money when one of her father's patents got stolen, so the girl must work her way through college by getting a job at the local morgue. As it turns out, there's lots of freaky stuff going down in her town (Barstow, CA), and lots of people die mysteriously, so she uses her skillz to solve crimes, and with a stunning combination of her parents' talents, also manages to get herself out of some pretty tight spots AND save peoples' lives. Yes, it's "Dr. MacGyver, Girl Detective" -- if you're a bad guy, she'll find you! And then shoot you with a gun that she made out of common garden hose and a match. And then she'll take out the bullet and sew you right back up.

Ty: Ha. I like the MacGyver Girl thingy idea. Flesh it out a little, add some comedy and a just a hint of love, and you'll have a gem.

I just came up with an idea for a sitcom that's set behind the scenes on an Extreme-Home-Makeover type show, filled with beautiful people who do wonderful things for deserving families...but are in actuality crazy, egomaniacal idiots with silly personality quirks. Think Arrested Development meets every show on TLC.

THE END

Hey, Internets? How come you haven't hired us yet? We are so brilliant, we will make you zillions of dollars.

-m