Here's another e-mail discussion Tyler and I had, this one from just this week. Given the subject matter, it would have been a discussion more befitting 2003. And yet . . . Exhibiting brilliance in the wrong place and more than just a little late: it's our way. But it's still funny! No, really. Shut up.

Tyler: ... The bad news is that the regular time slot for The Office will be opposite Amazing Race ... tuesdays @ 9:30, or as i like to call it "the whole that frasier left in my tv's heart".

Mandy: ha ha ha.

Oh, Frasier. Sometimes I think you were just a glorious dream I never wanted to wake from.

Tyler: I'm still praying for a Frasier spin-off. Who wouldn't love "Daphne's Place"? Here's the pitch...Daphne moves back to England and opens a pub where everylad knows her naaaaame. And they watch soccer and yell and fight and stuff.

Mandy: Hmm, Daphne's Place. Sounds awesome.

Another spin-off: "Martin Over," all about Frasier's dad and his life in a retirement home, where he lives, laughs, and loves ... and solves crimes. With the help of his canine sidekick Eddie, of course!

Tyler: I think the best spinoff of all would be "Niles' Crane", where Niles moves to Philly and becomes a crane operator at a construction site. I can see him hammering his fingers and dropping loads of i-beams on his boss's head before proclaiming the series' catch phrase "You can all me DOCTOR klutz!"

Mandy: wow, bold choice. When I read the title 'Niles' Crane," I thought you were going to go with a plot about Niles and his pet bird, a whooping crane. But you went with a machine crane! See, it's all about flipping expectations there.

OK, here's my last spinoff idea: "The Roz Bowl" ... it follows Roz in her post-station manager life, when she moves to San Francisco and opens one of those paint-your-own-pottery shops. People are always coming in and breaking stuff accidentally, and there are a lot of annoying kids running around--it gets pretty crazy! Also, she has a drinking problem.

You know, even though these ideas are fake, every last one of them sounds funnier than that stupid 'Life on a Stick' or whatever it's called that's premiering this week, set in a corndog stand at the mall.

Tyler: We should put these ideas up on Pocketfood. And by 'we' I mean 'not me'.

And I thought Roz Bowl was going to be Roz at age 60 opening up a bowling alley in her hometown of Gary, Indiana in order to impress the new man in her life, Phineas Winfield (or PhinWin to his friends) a 230-average semi-pro bowler with a drinking problem.

Mandy: that's weird. When I was thinking about where Roz should relocate, Gary, Indiana crossed my mind first. But then I decided that wasn't so much entertaining as really, really depressing. You can only get so much mileage out of how bad a place smells.

A bowling alley would be logical with that title, but again--we're keeping the audience on their toes! Think this show is about a bowling alley? Well, it's NOT. It's about a pottery shop! Crazay.

I totally will put these up on pocketfood.

Tyler: But I think the one spinoff that we haven't discussed yet is the INEVITABLE return of the FANTASTIC Bebe Neuwirth in the role of chilly ex Lilith (BRRRRRR!!). This one has actually sold for mid 6 figures, and will have Lilith losing all her money in a paternity (ha!) suit, and having to move to the rolling mountains of Appalachia to teach a ragtag bunch of ruffian, red-headed and buck-toothed schoolchildren in a one room schoolhouse. Title?

Lilith the Wordsmith.

And I'm spent.

Mandy: eh. I would've gone with 'Lillith of the Valley,' there, but that works, too.

um, Tyler? Maybe we should put our heads together and create an ACTUAL show idea. We're good at the fake ones . . . sigh. What a waste.