It's time for "Who's More British?", the new game that's sweeping . . . um, my cubicle? There are two versions. In the celebrity version, you pick two famous Brits and then decide who is more characteristically English For example:

You: "Who's more British, Julie Andrews or Minnie Driver?"

Me: "Are you kidding? Julie Andrews, no contest."

You: "Yeah, but why?"

Me: "Because she can pull a coat rack out of a carpet bag."

You: "That's not necessarily a British quality."

Me: "Fine. Have you ever heard Minnie Driver utter the word 'tuppence'? Even once?"

You: "You've got a point there. OK, well-played. Well-played indeed. . ."

The criteria is, obviously, very subjective. Factors to be considered could include: teeth, knighthood, overall properness, etc.

The other version involves e-mailing a coworker back and forth and packing as many British colloquialisms and slang terms into your sentences as possible. For example:

"I've simply no time for your tomfoolery, as I would vastly prefer to sit here with my lovely cup of tea and read some Dickens for a fortnight. So sod off! ps- I'm obviously more British."

There is no winner. Just play until you get bored, which if you're normal will be pretty quickly. Alternate and much more short-lived variations include Who's More Dutch, Who's More Finnish, and Who's More Cuban.

Note: Apologies to anyone who's really British. Don't let the raging stereotypes of this game obscure the fact that I'm insanely jealous of your accent. And your dry wit. And your charming monocle.

Mandy